finding charlie , and the potter craze
by PunkGoldfish
Summary: okay so Ms Lyn stars threating me with summer school unless i do a 20 page bok report.all the other kids get easy stuff and what do i get stuck with Harry PotHead.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't own Harry Potter, never have never will. Unless one day I become a multi millionaire and buy out J.K Rowling. Oh the bolded parts are when Elite is thinking.**

Chapter 1 Flunking English

"Pay attention. Honestly Elite Collins I don't know why I bother. While you were away yesterday everyone else was picking topics for their book reports. And unfortunately you have to have the last one on the list."

I don't believe her. Where dose Ms Lyn get off yelling at me.

Oh great just great, she's slammed the frigging list on my desk and yelling at me for being sick. Apparently I'm a lout. **Jeese think you could have yelled louder, there might've been someone in Western Australia who didn't hear ya.**

Absolutely brilliant just brilliant. While everyone one else got easy stuff, you know _Romeo and Juliet, Lord of the Flies _I got stuck with Harry Pot-head. I know what you're thinking, big deal every kid on the planet has read Harry Potter. Well not me, I was never one to catch the Potter Craze. No, while everyone one else was reading I was playing my guitar. Now I regret it, I'll have to read 6 books in one week and write a 20 page essay just to get out of summer school. But that would be why I'm flunking English.

About my name. Yeh I know it sucks, but I wasn't always called that.

You see I was originally named Charlie (chosen by dad cause mum chose my big brothers name.) and my dads surname was Dusking. So for about the first two years of my life I was named Charlie Dusking (silent g pronounced dusk -in), even at two I new the name was cool. But when my mum and dad split up mum couldn't stand that dad had chosen my name or I had his surname, so one day she comes home from legally getting mine and my brothers names changed and goes guess what your now Elite Collins . And my brother (Johnny) became Johnny Collins much plainer and much my boring. So by the time I went to school I had the name for three years so that's what I went by. But I always wanted someone to go up to me and say.

"You don't look like and Elite you look more like a Charlie a Charlie Dusking." But you can only dream.

Anyways, I had to get to the library fast. I scan the shelves still holding my guitar (I play in the park to relax my self).

I managed to get the first three on tape and the other three in books.

So I guess I'd better get to work, put the tape in and go on the internet.

I started at about 1.00 am and it's now about 11.00pm and I'm about on the last page of number 6. Looking at my watch I'm like yikes better go. So I stand up and something's bussing on the screen, and wham I'm pulled in, that's write you heard correctly pulled in to I don't know where.

Well I would have loved to be pulled in the middle of say a stand up comic act or a punk rock music concert where I'm invited up on stage to play my guitar and one of my original songs. But no -oh I get pulled into smack bang the middle of Hogwarts.

You no Dumbledore's office is waaaay creepier when you're inside it.

So far Snap has given me the 3rd degree so I've been straight with him. And he doesn't believe me, stupid old bat .**How can they not believe a computer poofed me here they're WIZARDS for gods sake they practice magic! And a CPU poofing a 16 year old girl is too much to swallow? **

"But your wizards." I argue "Can't ya just poof, me back?"

"No we might mess with fabric of existence. We are dealing with a higher power."  
**Let me take a moment to say I think the whole higher power thing is a complete load.**

"I think it already got screwed up by coming here."

Well a lot of arguing goes on till professor McGonagall says I have to attended classes until what ever bought you here takes you back.

"She'll have to be sorted." Mutters Professor Dumbledore .So they place a musty old hat on me.

_Hmmm lot of rebellion, and fighting spirit, oh and this ones cunning sounds like a Slytherin._

**Oh god no not Slytherin not with Malfoy and his gang of dipwads. **

_Okay then GRYFFINDOR!_

"Do you have to shout it?" I mutter

"No but it's a habit." It says as it's taken off my head.

They lead me to the great hall and sit me next to a girl with a shiny P badge on her chest.

"Please look after this new student."  
The girl nods her head.

"Hi Hermione." **Oh crap did I say that out loud.**

"How did you know my name?" **yep **

"You look like a Hermione." Ron's sitting across from me stuffing his face I don't make the same mistake twice I let him say his name before shaking hands.  
Suddenly Harry steps in covered in blood. Probably off saving the world again he is such a try hard. (Told you I never caught the potter craze)

"Harry what's wrong?" What happened to you?" Hermione practically sighs.

Harry's just sitting there with a big stupid grin on his face.

"What do you mean?" **cough Try hard cough**  
"Well your covered in blood, or didn't you realise that yet?" I ask in false sweet voice.

Hermione shots me a glare Harry doesn't really seem to take what I've said into offence.

"So." He comes up right to my face **and for the recorded he's go nothing on Daniel Radcliff. **"What's your name?"

I end up telling them the whole story about my screwed up name. Before going to bed.

Professor McGonagall corners me before I can get there though.

"Would you like to follow Miss Granger around?" she asks

"No way I won't be able to understand a word that she says."  
"Okay then Mr Potter and Mr Weasly."  
**I guess I can do that because not to be mean or anything but they kinda seem dumb enough to be my friends.**

After she leaves I go to bed already whishing I was home.

**And Johnny if your reading this somehow the STAY OUT OF MY PIGGY BANK!**

**Okay how did I go? Please tell me in reviews what you really think because I improve that way. **


	2. Chapter 2

**BAMM I'm back! DID YA MISS ME?**

**No seriously lavender brown is a bimbo god it's like talking to an article out of DOLLY!****Hermione is bossy. I swear one more word out of her!**

"So do you play the guitar?" Hermione asks looking at my case.

"Ahh Yeh."

"Go on then play us something." **She is smirking right now like she's trying to prove I don't actually play. You know what I don't feel like it I'm tired and I have to go get my books from the owlery where ever that is.**

"Make me"

"I knew it you don't' play you just try and look cool." **Cool! this girl uses the word cool! That's it I'm not using it anymore.**

"No I just don't feel like it."

"Poser."** Okay screw being tired NO BODY calls me a poser. Think of it as my tweak like Marty McFly in back to the future no body calls him chicken!**

**I Launch into Smells like Teen Spirit then do a greenday before ending with good old ACDC.**

"Now if you don't mind please move then hell out of my way Hermione before I punch you I need to get to the Owlery."

"D-d-o you want some help?"

"No." **Call me a poser!**

**Un-friggen believable the staircases actually move I thought that was thrown in for kicks! **

"OW! Son of a -."

"Oh I'm so sorry."

"Nah s'okay. Hey do you know where the owlery is?"

"Oh yeah just to the right."

"Ta"

"OI watch where you're walking next time NEW GIRL!" **what is everyone here schizophrenic? **

**Owlery smells, the Great Hall isn't Great enough it is so cramped and I hate it here!**

**The only good thing was not only did McGonagall send for books she got me a care package! 3 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shorts, singlets, undies, deodorant, gold etc.**

"So….any questions on your teachers?" Ron asks **at least he's being friendly**

**How do I word this? I know what the teachers are like but they don't know I know what the teachers are like. Well I may as well let them bitch about a teacher I know they want to...**

"Ahh Snape what's the deal with him?"

Harry looks up "Snape is psychotic."

"More like her hates you mate." Ron adds

"HA! I know what feeling."

"Oh really what teacher hates you?" **HATE POTTER! WHAT HE'S THE ONLY PERSONE WHO IS ALLOWD TO NOT GET ALONG WITH TEACHERS? How DARE he patronise me!**

I launch into every detail just to shut him up and finish just as we get to our first class…potions.

"Okay good morning class today we are going to……………….." **AND he's lost me already. Man this guy isn't to good. Wait he's writing gibberish on the board OH MAN everything is so clear now I wonder if he even knows I'm not magic? Maybe I should tell him?**

"Excuse me young lady?" **No maybe he's on the ball.**

"The young lady in the back row with the black hair chewing gum?" **I think he is on the ball.**

"Yes." I answer

"Could you please explain your uniform?" **No we lost him.**

I sigh.

"I'm wearing a grey skirt white shirt and tie **sir**"

"Your skirt is all frayed. Your shirt covered by a jacket** hoddie actually** your tie is around your head your shoes are………"

"Flats"

"Your shoes are flats! How is that uniform?"

"It's not I guess, its statement."

"And what statement would that be?" **Well I may as well tell him in a memorable way.**

"I don't belong here SIR. I'm a NORMAL HUMAN! Who got poofed here by a computer!"

**Cue whispers followed by awkward silence and people staring. **

"Wait you mean" **FINALLY SOMEONE SPEAKS!**

"You're a muggle with no magic in you?"** Oh crap its Malfoy.**

"SHUT UP MALFOY LEAVE HER ALONE SHE'S JUST A DEFENLESS KID OKAY!"** Harry Harry Harry your mouth is better shut!**

"Oh sod off Potter I'm sick of your pretentious crap I don't want your"protecting" okay? So go play the hero to someone who cares!" **Okay harsh but he's been belittling me ever since I got here!**

Malfoy smirks "Ooooh Muggles got bite."

"Muggles also got a mean left hook say one more word and you'll find out just how mean."

Malfoy looks at me for a minute.

"MUG-GLE"** I WAREDN HIM! **

**My fist his face is all I felt then him hitting the ground is all I heard.**

"Bitch" **He gets up and goes to retaliate **

I duck dodge he gets me I get him. He's a good puncher and doesn't go for the cheap easy shots which are good. This goes on until we get pulled apart.

**Now surprise surprise Potters gotten up to shove Malfoy yup he has to get involved even when it doesn't concern him.**

"ENOUGH! Mr. Malfoy Mr.Potter and Miss…?"

**This is my chance to have my real name.**

"Dusking I'm Charlie Dusking"

"You three will serve detention with me tonight 7:00 pm sharp and now you will go to the headmaster's office!" **Potter looks worried so dose Malfoy. Me honestly like I care I won't be here soon. I'm the exchange student with no school to represent I can be as bad as they like with out getting chucked out. Good because I was getting close at my own school.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Like to apologise for the really late chapters I'm just really lazy so again sorry._

**Welcome to Dumbledore's office or as I like to call it "The Twilight Zone"**

"It seems there was some sort of accident involving Miss Dusking and Mr Malfoy?"** Man he looks exhausted better cut him some slack and just tell the story straight.**

"No sir, You see Malfoy was being a little S.O.B and insisted on calling me a Muggle even though I warned him that he would get a punch in the mouth and he did. He fought me back and it turned into a brawl."

"I see and how dose Mr Potter come into this?"** Well he doesn't you see**

"I was trying to pull Malfoy off Charlie and hit him and he hit me too."

"That's true sir."** Ahh so maybe I didn't see everything when I was beating the crap out of Malfoy, still it wasn't Harry's fight.**

**It's odd seeing Dumbledore sigh like he's defeated I mean from what I've read J.K makes him look so cool calm and collected.**

"You will each receive detention with Professor Snape on Sunday. Now please go."

**Something's bugging him and I can't believe The Boy who lived didn't even realise it.**

**The common room is at least nice and cosy.**

"Hey Harry mate."

"Yeah Ron"

"When Quidditch tryouts?"

"This Saturday." **Quidditch eh? Hmmm this is a long shot but I might jut go down to the broom shed I mean McGonagall did encourage me to enjoy my time here. **

"Where you going?" Ron asks

"For some exploring."

**Broom shed is fairly easy to pick the lock on so much for security I mean at least in my school the sports equipment like the bows and arrows stayed where students couldn't break into! Hmmm I think I'll take that Cleansweep; God who names these things they sound like names on razors!**

**Okay kick off from the ground. WOAH okay let me just say this when your flying suddenly everyone turns into Keanu reeves and all you can say is AWSOME,WOAH,COOL!**

**Well it's not so bad like I haven't fallen yet and neither has the quaffle.**

**Okay line up 1, 2, 3 throw and GOAL!!!!!! I feel like doing what the soccer players do when they score but I'm at the slight disadvantage of being 50 feet off the ground.**

"You're not to bad infact your really good." Says a voice behind me. **CRAP!**

I turn around it's Harry on his FIREBOLT **DOUBLE CRAP.**

"Thanks" I say trying to sound not nearly as half as shocked as I am.

"Is this your first time on a broom?" **Okay either he is really dumb or really needs to think before he speaks.**

I raise my eyebrows and he blushes.

"Okay I mean did you think to be this good?'

"No I thought I'd fall on my ass actually."

"Well you should try out on Saturday for chaser."

"Okay."** He drops the Quaffle **

"Damm it." He mutters** Smooth Potter**

I sigh and stare at the Quaffle intently

"Accio Quaffle."** What the hell was I thinking?**

And it zooms into my hands** Of corse it did I'm in friggen Hogwarts where you can't even do an exchange program without something weird happening. **Maybe there's a simple explanation

"Did you touch your wand?" He shakes his head** damm all**

"We should probably go to Professor McGonagall's."

"Ya think?" I say sarcastically.


End file.
